Confessions of a One Man Sideshow

The instrument of innuendo

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 04:42:12 GMT

I tried to coach someone on how to play the didjeridoo tonight. There is no way to describe the necessary actions without sounding dirty.

Culinary travels

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:22:45 GMT

I did manage to eat some puffin last weekend before we left Iceland. It tasted a bit like liver. It was ok but not nearly as tasty as the reindeer or whale.

This long weekend we are in Chicago for a wedding. We went to Pizzeria Due last night for deep dish. I'm trying to figure out what else we can eat that is quintessentially Chicago. I hear the steak is good here.

Whale in the belly of the Dave

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 22:41:52 GMT

I ate a whale... for lunch.

It was a minke whale, it was surprisingly good. Vaguely beef-like but chewy, fatty, and with a somewhat fishy aftertaste. I definitely would have served a red wine with it.

Dinner was reindeer. This was incredibly delicious. Dense, dark almost purple meat that definitely was wild game but wasn't "gamey". Tomorrow I'm going to try to find a place that serves puffin for dinner.

Leaving on a jet plane

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 21:55:21 GMT

Just boarded the plane for London.

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I married an old friend on Friday

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 17:02:34 GMT

I performed my first wedding ceremony on Friday for my old friends Brian and Leigh and it was a success. I think I was more nervous than the couple. Brian had written the ceremony so all I had to do was read it with the appropriate gravitas. It was a medium size wedding with about a hundred guests, many of whom were also old high school friends. I used my wireless mic and sound system and had a technical problem early on in the ceremony where the mic would cut out for a second at random intervals. Fortunately Greg Salmieri was scheduled to sing a song in the middle of the ceremony so I had a moment to step a few feet back toward the receiver and figure out the problem and return to my position well before the song was over. I hope it wasn't too noticeable or distracting to the audience.

I read the ceremony from my Kindle which I had put on the largest font setting and was actually very convenient. Just hitting the button was easier and less obtrusive than turning a page and in it's black, leather cover it had the look of a bible. I highly recommend it to other officiants.

Philly Fringe 2009

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 05:09:13 GMT

I'll be performing my new show "Cirque-Ular" at 8 pm September 11, 12, 18, 19 at the Greene St Studio, Philadelphia PA 19119. I'm very excited and nervous about it. It has, in many ways, been my most ambitious project. I have a large cast of circus performers and live musicians playing original music. I've been very happy with the results so far.

Hope you all can make it.

Killing time in Boston

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 19:34:39 GMT

Rachel's cousin is getting married today so I'm killing some time while she gets her hair done.

I stopped in a big and tall shop and bought a shirt that is too big on me but that I hope will shrink to fit. Even if it doesn't, I'm excited to own a piece of clothing that is too big.

I'm sitting on Boylston street now watching a construction site. My maternal grandfather was a union crane operator for many years so it's interesting watching the crane. I'm sure things have changed since he retired but it's still nice to imagine that his life was filled with the kind of pleasant afternoons this operator seems to be having. He passed away when I was 6 so my memories of him are limited a most of my knowledge of him is second hand.

We had a nice dinner with Greg and Karen last night. Unfortunately they had a family reunion to go to in Jersey today so that's all we got to see of them this weekend.

The wind is blowing and the tree I'm sitting under is raining berries that look like large white rasberries. I'm going to move.

It's hot in Boston and I've found a different tree to sit under. This tree is next to a few young men who are setting up their instruments. I suspect it will be time fir me to go before they finish.

We went to Faneuil Hall/ Quincy Market this morning in search of a street performer and found one instantly. His huge crowd was hard to miss. He essentially only had one routine, a straight jacket escape that was done while suspended upside down from a 20 foot tripod he had set up. I've never liked escapes but this was probably the best way to do it for a street crowd and he did well with it. It's such a shame that Philly doesn't have a good street performing area. We were impressed by how crowded and clean and pleasant the market was. Maybe one day Philly will do something with it's waterfront that will be a similar draw for tourists.

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The Yak Anniversary

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:44:37 GMT

Today is our one year anniversary. We are celebrating in the traditional way, with candy, flowers and a selection of exotic meats.

I have to credit Rachel with coming up with this. She suggested a few weeks ago that we stay in and just cook a bunch of things we've never eaten before. So we went to www.exoticmeats.com and ordered an assortment of interesting things. I'm looking forward to the yak and pheasant the most though the crocodile tail and antelope also look good.

As usual, Rachel makes my life more interesting. There are so many wonderful experiences I've had over the past year that I don't think I ever would have had without her. Tonight, we add a few more to the list.

Who wants absolution?

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 05:30:21 GMT

I am now an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church Monastery. It took me about 6 seconds to fill out the appropriate form.

After I filled out my form the ULC website reminded me that I could now perform marriages, last rites, and absolve others of sin.

So I hereby absolve you all of any and all sin that you may have accumulated up to the point. Let it be known. Sing it on the mountaintops.

I'll be performing my first wedding on August 28th for two old high school friends. I hope it will be the first of many. I'm so looking forward to it.

We're meeting soon to write the ceremony. The groom said that they chose me because they wanted someone they knew, someone who shared their beliefs (or in this case, lack thereof) and who had a "flair for the dramatic."

I suspect they really chose me because I played Big Daddy, the leader of a religious cult, in our high school musical. I'm looking forward to putting some little reference to my high school role into the ceremony as an in joke to all the people in the audience who were also in that show.

I'm a lucky guy

Tue, 19 May 2009 19:59:56 GMT

Rachel went way above the call of duty and put together a wonderful dinner party for a few of my closest friends Sunday night. We had originally intended to have a simple BBQ but as the weather threatened she developed a plan for an indoor meal that became a feast. I had planned to be around to help her after my morning show but I picked up a last minute job for the afternoon as well. So I came home to find that everything was just about ready. Our guests arrived, we had a lovely dinner followed by much conversation, then Rachel drank a Red Bull and went to work.

As if I needed a reason for more gratitude, she bought me a Kindle last week. She would say she bought us a Kindle but I've been hogging it so much I don't think she's read anything on it yet. I finished Pride and Prejudice a few days ago and liked it. I've downloaded a bunch of classics onto it and I'm torn between doing more of the reading I should do and just reading bestsellers. If you love books and gadgets and have a remarkably generous girlfriend you should definitely get one.

Wow

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:28:12 GMT

I'm sitting at the Vespa dealership waiting for an inspection. I started doing some math related to mileage to see if their claims of saving you money on gas by buying an expensive extra vehicle hold any water (they don't) and then did a little extra math to discover that, on average, I drive 82 miles a day. I knew I drove a lot but I have to say that figure shocked me.

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Weekly gig

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 17:59:28 GMT

It looks like our little jazz band (which still needs a name) will be playing weekly at Carmine's Creole Cafe in Bryn Mawr. We played there last night and had a good time.

I feel like I'm becoming more comfortable as a musician.

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Hope for the future

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 03:53:28 GMT

From the beginning of my career I have assumed that the college market was almost ideal for me. I was edgy but not too edgy. Likeable without being a pushover. Enough of a street act that I could draw a crowd but enough of a theatrical act to have something to say. I seemed almost perfectly suited for it.

Unfortunately, the college market is difficult to break into. There is a an organization that brings entertainers and schools together for regional and national showcases of entertainers. Most schools send delegations of students commitees to hire acts. Getting into these showcases is very expensive.

It's not just that it was expensive. Everyone in the market told me that it took time. It took a few years before you started figuring it out and getting work. It's a very lucrative market for those who get booked regularly but for those who are trying to get bookings and failing it's a money pit.

So the alternative to going it alone and risking losing your investment is to have an agent represent you (and dozens of other acts) and they front the costs and make it back on your commission. This seems like a more agreeable scenario for my nature. I don't hustle well.

So I have an agent in this market now and (purely by luck) she is very well known and respected in the industry. I didn't realize that when I started working with her but when I started finding out all the names she represents I was stunned. And not just in colleges but cruise ships and theaters too.

So I went to a regional college showcase on Friday night with this agent and she introduced me to a number of people and I think we will get a few sales out of it. I stood in the booth giving little sideshow demostrations. One guy saw me do a little demo of sword swallowing and watched the video I brought of my second "America's Got Talent" appearance and immediately assumed I was too expensive for his budget. When he found out how cheap I was (relative to other college acts, it's still twice what I normally make) he was thrilled. He said he would definitely be calling. Fingers crossed.

I learned a number of interesting things from the experience. Not the least of which is I really can keep swallowing the sword over and over again if I stay relaxed. My throat was a little sore the next morning but other than that I was none the worse for wear and finally in position to enter the market I feel I'm destined for.

Killing time in AC

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 17:34:06 GMT

I'm doing a commercial for a car dealership in Atlantic City today. I haven't been down here in a few weeks. Showboat has had big layoffs and while entertainment was the last thing to go it finally went. It was nice while it lasted. I made almost $40,000 with them last year.

Other than that things are going well. Business is good by February standards. I've been working at Woodloch Pines up in the Poconos every week and I feel like my stage show has gotten better for it. I'm doing a solid hour of material now so I'm hoping that this will be the year I start doing cruise ships.

Personally things are going very well. I'm halfway through my move to Rachel's new house. I won't really feel like I live there until I get my desk and computer there but I need to find a good day to have Greg or Paul help me move it.

I've been enjoying living there for the past few weeks. It felt good to shovel the .walk and clean the garage. I felt like the man of the house. I like being there to reach high things and open jars for Rachel.

Gotta run, we're filming.

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Long time no update

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 04:56:25 GMT

I'm sitting in my hotel room at Woodloch Pines trying to warm up. It's bitterly cold in the mountains tonight. The room is quite cozy but my fingers still haven't thawed.

I played a song with my opening act tonight. I brought the electric upright and did a credible job backing Harry the singer/piano player on "Fly Me To The Moon." I felt like a musician and it felt good.

When I get home I need to start packing up my things in preparation for moving in with Rachel. I don't really have that much stuff so it shouldn't be too hard. More on this subject later, for now I'm off to bed.

2009

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 18:25:16 GMT

Some things I'd like to do in 2009.

Play more bass and play with more people. I enjoy playing with Paul and Dave and will continue to do so but I'd like to experiment with different styles.

Work on the show that makes me money. I spent a lot of time last year working on my theatrical show and neglecting my commercial show. I think I'd like to spend some time this year exploring how I can get some of the ideas in my theatrical show into my commercial show.

Create a new promo video. I need to focus more on selling my show and selling in in new markets. Doing so will take better promotional material.

Take some piano lessons. I got a very nice keyboard for my birthday this year and I've barely touched it.

I'd like to become more involved with organizations that share my ideals and point of view. There are some wonderful atheist organizations and activists in Philadelphia and I think I should spend more time with them. I'm a registered libertarian and perhaps I'll become more involved in the party. I should probably attend some objectivist conferences and hang out with Greg Salmieri more.

I'd like to use my job as an entertainer to communicate ideas I care about to other people. But not in a bait and switch kind of way. I don't want people to walk in thinking they will be entertained and then preach to them. I would want people to walk away knowing how I feel and what I believe and have them be entertained whether or not they agree with me.

I would like to read more.

I would like to travel more, but I think Rachel will take care of that for me. I need only accompany her wanderings.

I would like to spend more time at the Philadelphia School of Circus Arts. Both as a student and teacher.

Home (briefly) for the Holiday

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 05:47:28 GMT

I'm visiting my parents in between shows and appointments. I was in the Poconos last night, I'm leaving early tomorrow to go do another show there. I'm doing stuff with Rachel's family on Friday and my extended family on Saturday. Between work and family obligations I'm driving about a thousand miles this week.

The good news is Showboat is extending the entertainment contracts through the winter. The bad news is they are cutting hours and payment. I find out the details on Monday.

My new electric upright bass is great for travel. It doesn't really sound like an upright but it feels great and I love playing it in the hotel room on the road.

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Quick vacation recap

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 01:29:43 GMT

A more thorough description of our epic journey will follow. For now I'm tired and just want to hit the highlights.

In that I haven't been to Vegas since 2002 there were a number of things I wanted to check out. O was at the top of that list so as soon as Rachel told me we were going to Vegas I got tickets for that. I enjoyed it, but not as much as I hoped I would. I think that so many of my friends built it up to me for so long that the reality just couldn't live up to what I had pictured in my head.

Fortunately, I knew nothing about Ka. I went in with a clean slate and loved it. It had the most explicit narrative of any Cirque show I've ever seen and was a better show for it. There is actually very little circus in it compared to some of their other shows but every act they do serves the narrative in some way. It was exactly what I wanted from them.

We also saw Penn & Teller and got to speak with them briefly after the show. Teller looked exhausted so I wasn't surprised that he didn't want to hang out.

My swollen ankle was the only downside of the trip and Rachel made up for it by taking wonderful care of me at every opportunity. She was so helpful to me when I was hobbling around the city and brought me Advil, ice, pillows or whatever else I needed when we were at the hotel. She bought me an ankle brace and crutches. At one point I had to sit down and rest while we were in the Venetian and I just felt so frustrated with my injury and disappointed that I couldn't enjoy the city to it's fullest. Rachel was so patient and comforting that I started telling her that I loved her over and over again. I don't think she understood what got me so worked up but she just calmed me down and told me she loved me until I was feeling better.

I feel very lucky to have her. I don't think I've taken a real vacation since college and I'm taking two this month. We're going to Rachel's parent's summer home in Martha's Vineyard in two weeks. I'm not sure yet how many vacations we'll take in November ;)

Dave 3.0

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 21:09:57 GMT

So my 30th birthday started out kind of rough. I fell down the stairs and banged up my ankle badly enough that I cancelled the show I was supposed to do that night in the Poconos. I called Rachel and she came over here and took care of me all day.

Then she gave me my present. She's taking me to Vegas for the next four nights and bought us tickets to Ka. Suddenly the bruised ankle doesn't seem so bad.

More later, have to pack now.

Sorry MD Folks

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 00:59:20 GMT

Due to my own incompetence I wasn't able to come down this weekend. It turns out I had a show on Saturday and if the agent hadn't called to confirm Friday night I would have missed it. It's stuff like that that keeps me up at night. I don't know how that didn't make it to my calendar.

Rachel and her friends did go and had a good time. Unfortunately, she didn't see too much due to the rain. Hopefully we'll make it down again sometime this season.

Hey MD people

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 18:17:49 GMT

I'm going to visit the MD Ren Fair this Saturday with my girlfriend and a few of her friends. Do let me know when/where would be best to see you.

Music

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 06:20:36 GMT

Our band needs a name, suggestions are welcome. I was all for "Paul Salter and the Gutbucket Swingers" but Paul objects.

Here's us playing at the weekly dance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Fzwdy5iOyA

At a friend's party
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJFpRDCc3l8

I can't just play it like a normal person.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsgDBAkNqV4

The Wet Spots

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 07:14:07 GMT

I saw The Wet Spots tonight at Silk City with the Peek a boo Revue. I'd seen them on YouTube and loved them so I was thrilled to see them live. I hadn't seen the Peek a boo in forever and felt kind of guilty about it. There are a lot of reasons why I haven't been hanging out with them but the biggest is that Melissa isn't performing with them anymore. I miss her and it's a shame but we've really lost touch.

I enjoyed the show tonight so I asked them if I could perform with them on Sept 20th at the World Cafe Live. I've always hoped they would consider that as a venue and I'd really like to see them succeed there.

Rachel

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:57:18 GMT

And now I will brag about the new girlfriend.

So as some of you know I'm seeing someone new and it's going well. Rachel has been taking trapeze classes with Shana for over a year but I didn't meet her until the Cirque du Soleil tour a few weeks ago. I was drawn to her, I really liked her energy, the way she carried herself. She was beautiful and independent and powerful.

We've been getting to know each other for a few weeks now and there are a lot of nice things about this relationship. I really admire her career. Rachel is a producer for the Fox 29 morning news show. Talking with her about her work reminds me of my days as a journalism major. She's essentially an editor, she decides what to lead with, which anchor will read each story and she manages the broadcast from the booth. It seems like a fun, exciting job and she clearly enjoys it and I'm really enjoying being with someone who is successful professionally.

Because she produces the 5 am show she works a night shift. Unfortunately, our schedules aren't very complimentary. She sleeps 9-5, gets up and does social stuff and then goes to work at 10:30 pm. I'm working most weekends when she's off but because we both have weird schedules we're both very understanding of each other's weird schedules. So far we've been making it work just fine.

I'm feeling optimistic, I think it's going to be a good year.

Lots of excitement lately

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 23:16:21 GMT

Shana opened the Philadelphia School of Circus arts this past weekend with an open house and a big party for her students and the local circus community. Her new space is gorgeous and her classes for the summer are just about full. I'm very proud of her.

I performed my theatrical show, now called The Disillusionist, last week and it went very well. I used a live actress for the voice over rather than a recording and it really helped.

I made all kinds of upgrades to my upright bass last week and they all went pretty well. I have a new respect for luthiers though. It is difficult, tedious work. I replaced the fingerboard with one made of ebony and then had to adjust the nut and bridge for a few days before I was happy with the string height. Then I replaced the steel strings with gut and I've been breaking those in and getting used to the new feel of them. I feel like the instrument is very uniquely mine now.

On a personal note, the long distance relationship didn't work out. It's hard to date casually when you're 100 miles apart.